Published February 12, 2023
- Title Blackbird
- Director Michael Flatley
- Year 2018
- Run time 1hr 28m
- Genres Crime, Action, Romance
- Tagline Some things are still worth dying for
Trouble secret agent 'Blackbird' abruptly retires from service and opens a luxurious hotel in the Caribbean to escape the dark shadows of his past. An old flame arrives and reignites love in his life, but she brings danger with her.
|0:14||His company is called DanceLord!|
|4:44||“He’s irreplaceable. No one can do what he does.” Love being able to write about yourself in your own script.|
|10:08||Are we supposed to have any idea what’s going on?|
|17:21||Interesting that the audio with menacing building is more impactful than the actual violence.|
|22:38||Would never pick yellow over any other colour option, dude.|
|26:17||If he’s trying to blend in, the yellow suit and jaunty hat angle are not helping!|
|35:11||It sounds a bit like the super-soldier serum.|
|42:27||Saves on washing up, I suppose, throwing your champagne glass into the ocean.|
|48:27||“We used to stop the bad guys, not marry them.” Oof.|
|53:44||Not to take away from the, er, passion, but why is he the only person who can stop this?|
|1:00:43||What is it with men and random poker games to try and prove something?|
|1:11:35||“Bless me father, for I have sinned… and I’m about to sin again.” Haha.|
Woah. This film.
I watched it because it’s such a bizarre concept - this guy who was SO good at making Irish dancing a global phenomenon decided he wanted to write, produce, direct and star in a spy movie. The film is a bit of a laughing stock in the industry and I knew going into it that it was going to be bad.
It was somehow even worse than I thought. Bad acting, a story that took forever to get going, barely any actual action scenes (part of the big showdown at the end happened off-screen whilst we watched other characters reactions?) and many, many spy cliches that don’t even fit with the story.
But having said that, I thought for the first thirty minutes or so I would never survive to the end of it but it got marginally more interesting as it went along. That’s the best I can give it.
Rating: 1 / 5