887. Beauty and the Beast

Title: Beauty and the Beast
Director: Bill Condon
Year: 2017
Run time: 2hrs 9m

“The story and characters you know and love come to spectacular life in the live-action adaptation of Disney’s animated classic Beauty and the Beast, a cinematic event celebrating one of the most beloved tales ever told. Experience the fantastic journey of Belle, a bright, beautiful and independent young woman who is taken prisoner by a Beast in his castle. Despite her fears, she befriends the castle’s enchanted staff, and learns to look beyond the Beast’s hideous exterior and realise the kind heart of the true Prince within.”

Live blog

1:07 – Wait, the Prince guy was a badun? I totes forgot that.
2:26 – Jeez louise, this is just like a Meatloaf video.
7:01 – Their bookshelf is so small it makes me sad.
10:31 – Loving Gaston, the French Welshman.
13:16 – Ahead of your time is such an interesting phrase. How do you know it’s ahead and not just weird? Oof, philosophy.
15:29 – Did she just make a washing machine?
21:02 – So at this point, Philippe the horse is the hero of the story.
24:44 – “Mum said I wasn’t supposed to move, because it might be scary.” ADORABLE.
28:22 – People do seem at ease to just go wandering about this house willy-nilly.
30:20 – “Forever can spare a minute.”
33:29 – The waddling clock is also cuteness.
45:43 – He dropped a cog or two there.
48:02 – She drinks tea well weird.
55:46 – This castle is so Tomb Raider as well. All crumbling walkways and potential walls to jump.
1:02:39 – Gaston has reverse PTSD.
1:09:21 – Big Shakespeare diss, I like it.
1:17:50 – “Too touristy?’ OMG, ima die. Crying and all sorts.
1:33:23 – How am I supposed to type through the tears? HUH?
1:43:35 – I legit don’t remember what the end of this film is. I remember about up to the pitchfork mob, which is now.
1:55:37 – Didn’t even recognise Obi Wan in this.

Conclusions

Let me be frank about this: I was already a couple of glasses of wine in when we started watching this, and that is the only explanation of the fact that I basically cried for all of the second hour.

I haven’t seen the original cartoon version since I was a kid so I’d actually forgotten a good chunk of the story, although remembered how lovely some of the songs are. Great cast, lovely story, quite a lot of shots where you just know nothing you’re looking at is real but I guess that just adds to the magic-ness of it all.

Mr C, who isn’t a huge fan of musicals, said this was his favourite to date, and had a good ratio of story to songs, which is a big thumbs up.

Rating: 5/5.