855. Crocodile Dundee

Title: Crocodile Dundee
Director: Peter Faiman
Year: 1986
Run time: 1hr 37m

“Paul Hogan’s hilarious, endearing performance made “Crocodile” Dundee the biggest box-office comedy smash of 1986! Michael J. “Crocodile” Dundee (Hogan) is a free spirited Australian who hunts crocodiles with his bare hands, stares down giant water buffaloes, and drinks mere mortals under the table. But he’s about to face the ultimate torture test – a tripe to New York City. Beautiful and tenacious reporter Sue Charlton (Linda Kozlowski) gets more than just a story as the “wonder from Down Under” rocks the Big Apple to its core.”

Live blog

1:47 – Michael J Crocodile Dundee? His name is MICHAEL?
5:48 – Love the truck train! Bet that thing doesn’t go round corners.
11:41 – He’s very hands on, this croc guy.
11:52 – Why does she still want to go if there’s no leg story?
15:32 – But he made it go to sleep in the middle of the road, right in their way.
18:10 – Spot of chauvinism to be going on with.
21:20 – “None of my business,” I often feel like that in political discussions.
27:04 – How is she wearing a skirt in the bush?
37:57 – “I can live with that,” she says, when actually she should be punching him.
40:15 – Is this what bushtucker trials were based on?
45:11 – Never thought about how weird an escalator is.
53:20 – Trying to get through traffic is a lot like that.
54:55 – They are both being quite inconsiderate to their guest. Even if they haven’t seen each other for six weeks.
57:23 – There are no nice people in this film.
1:04:37 – But he’s drunk too, driving a foreign car in a foreign country. Eek.
1:12:47 – Ah, the old steam bowl trick. Does that even work?
1:14:19 – I been getting the line wrong my whole life. “That’s not a knife. That’s a knife.” ARGH, Field of Dreams all over again.
1:21:34 – “No, back there, if you’ve got a problem,you tell Wally, and he tells everyone in town, brings it out in the open, no more problem.”
1:22:33 – They know she was only gone for six weeks, right?
1:23:28 – She didn’t actually say yes though?
1:30:09 – This woman seems to have dressed inappropriately for every single situation.
1:31:13 – Not sure I’d go into a subway with no shoes on.

Conclusions

I’m aware of this film culturally, of course, but had never actually seen it until today. And after watching it, I’m left wondering what on earth it was all about?

I genuinely can’t fathom why it’s so popular, aside from the fact that some things just catch on as a cult event and that’s the end of it. But this film is so weird. There doesn’t appear to be a story, the two main leads are really not very likeable, and although there’s the undercurrent of romance that leads to what you might call a happy ending, it’s really not a strong narrative to get you from A to B.

It can’t have been that bad, as we didn’t switch off at the twenty minute rule, but equally, I spent most of the film wondering what we were actually viewing. And there’s a sequel too!

Rating: 1/5.