837. Pacific Rim: Uprising

Title: Pacific Rim: Uprising
Director: Steven S. DeKnight
Year: 2018
Run time: 1hr 51m

“John Boyega (Star Wars series) is the rebellious Jake Pentecost, a once-promising Jaeger pilot whose legendary father gave his life to secure humanity’s victory against the monstrous “Kaiju.” Now an even more fearsome alien threat has been unleashed on the world and Jake is called back into action by his former co-pilot, Lambert (Scott Eastwood), and a 15-year-old Jaeger hacker, Amara (Cailee Spaeny). Rising up to become the most powerful defense force to ever walk the earth, they will set course for a spectacular all-new adventure on a towering scale.”

Live blog

9:16 – Don’t mess with the Universal ident, please.
1:59 – Always interested in the aftermath of the destruction. This is fun.
7:05 – How does his little device know where the capacitor is?
10:40 – I fought it but yep, that robot is cuuuute
13:14 – She has some balls arguing with the massive robot.
20:51 – Bunch of kids training for war is very Ender’s Game.
24:01 – “Don’t mess with my damn toppings.”
33:15 – She might be the bad guy but she has nice outfits.
35:19 – It’s nice that Australia gets a turn being totally wrecked.
32:07 – “Gone is relative in the digital realm.”
50:39 – I feel like they might be solely responsible for all the melting of the ice caps.
57:05 – “Seriously, this face, it’s set up well. Beauty is a burden.”
1:01:55 – It is a tough language.
1:04:11 – Well, that’s about as rogue as it is possible to get.
1:08:11 – No one will be able to swim in the sea again
1:18:33 – The sheer destruction of it all.
1:21:02 – That energy thing is what Black Panther’s suit did.
1:30:47 – We’re not supposed to but I’m quite enjoying Charlie Day commentating from a rooftop, too.
1:33:12 – “That was supposed to be epic, but it wasn’t.”
1:34:37 – Scrapper is like the Bumble Bee of Pacific Rim.

Conclusions

Ah well. I can’t say I was particularly looking forward to this one, but I said the same about the last Pacific Rim and it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected. This one, unfortunately, was as bad as I expected, and perhaps worse.

An interesting cast, and I really liked the kid, but ultimately the script was really stodgy with some “We call him… Godzilla,” style dramatic lines that didn’t really work. There were a couple of funny lines but it was mostly nonsense, a few plot holes and questions scattered along the way, and really… just not that entertaining.

Many of the reviews say it was aimed more at kids this time out, which is fair enough, maybe we weren’t the target audience. But it really felt like a kid had made it too. Bigger robots, morrrre destruction, alllll the things. Skip it.

Rating: 1/5.