800. The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Title: The Hitman’s Bodyguard
Director: Patrick Hughes
Year: 2017
Run time: 1hr 58m

“The world’s top protection agent (Ryan Reynolds) is called upon to guard the life of his mortal enemy, one of the world’s most notorious hit men (Samuel L. Jackson). The relentless bodyguard and manipulative assassin have been on the opposite end of the bullet for years, and are thrown together for a wildly outrageous 24 hours. During their raucous and hilarious adventure from England to the Hague, they encounter high-speed car chases, outlandish boat escapades, and a merciless Eastern European dictator (Gary Oldman) who is out for blood. Salma Hayek joins the mayhem as Jackson’s equally notorious wife.”

Live blog

3:05 – “Boring is always best.”
7:05 – Being a bodyguard must be rubbish. The smallest mistake is the biggest of consequences.
12:58 – Samuel L is such a scene-stealer. Love him.
14:50 – Loving Manchester getting some air time in Hollywood.
19:41 – Pure Evil as a name is a bit harsh, but at least it doesn’t have Imperial March theme tune as well.
29:53 – “You’re terrible at almost everything but you’re good at keeping people alive.”
33:51 – He definitely needs to work on his covert abilities.
43:38 – They’re having their own little riff off.
51:42 – How do you keep a straight face with Samuel L laughing beside you?
58:04 – Who is worse? Those that kill bad guys, or those that protect them?
1:06:54 – He said ‘first!’ Ha!
1:13:03 – This is, like, a five-way car chase… not confusing at all!
1:23:41 – Actual windmills.
1:29:07 – “He has a hard time processing emotions and s**t.”
1:35:47 – That car has been through the mill!
1:42:13 – He’s my bodyguard!

Conclusions

We needed this film after a couple of bad ones. Actually, that’s not fair, but what this film delivered was exactly what we expected and that was what we needed. The concept is great – hitman needs a bodyguard. The partnership works really well, that love/hate thing, and Reynolds and Jackson are both brilliant and also play well against each other.

I thought it could have done with more from Elodie Yung but I really loved Salma Hayek’s complete nutcase of a character. Fun adventures, new and different European cities, lots to like.

Rating: 5/5.