775. Kong: Skull Island

Title: Kong: Skull Island
Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Year: 2017
Run time: 1hr 58m

“When a scientific expedition to an uncharted island awakens titanic forces of nature, a mission of discovery becomes an explosive war between monster and man. Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John Goodman and John C. Reilly star in a thrilling and original adventure that reveals the untold story of how Kong became King.”

Live blog

0:52 – Pretty sure they tell you not to look directly at the sun, so don’t put it on screen for a full thirty seconds.
4:39 – These opening credits must have taken some editing together.
5:45 – Bonus John Goodman with the most ironic words in recent cinema history.
11:18 – “I would not be opposed to that, sir.” Or… yes.
12:17 – Great advice: “Never judge a man on where he drinks, only on how he holds it.”
17:23 – NOT enjoying the slide projector. Long live PowerPoint.
20:58 – Jeez, I wouldn’t want to head into that storm for any amount of money.
26:06 – Oof, that’s a stressful storm.
30:04 – Gorilla-related solar eclipse.
33:08 – Okay, this is too many helicopter crashes. Not a fan.
37:26 – “That was an unconventional encounter.” Hahaha.
49:57 – The CGI is fricking incredible, but it’s also all so gross.
1:00:54 – Lots of big things but the small things, the bugs, also very annoying.
1:01:23 – Wilson on a rock!
1:03:33 – Love the reaction to the man on the moon. “What’s he eating?”
1:11:27 – “You should see me in a library.” Hehe.
1:19:39 – Just when you think it can’t get any more disgusting.
1:26:42 – I like the Dear Billy conceit.
1:42:03 – I mean, Kong with a weapon is basically king of the world.

Conclusions

This had all the makings of a good film, particularly a strong cast, but it really failed to impress. The fundamental problem with it is how derivative the whole thing is. Elements of Predator, Tomb Raider, Jurassic Park, Godzilla, and even, dare I say it, Honey I Shrunk the Kids.

So, without an original idea to work with, they went all out on the CGI – it was some incredible work, but as Mr C quite rightly said: “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” There was some really graphic and gross things in there that I wasn’t prepared for, and really never want to think about ever again but can’t stop visualising. It had that Prometheus effect.

There were an excessive number of characters, so that none of them were fleshed out and it was hard to connect with any except the awesome WWII guy. And the tone was intensely uneven, one minute joking about with dialogue Marvel-style, the next some really gross thing accompanied with staring, wide-eyes, and corny words.

To end on a positive note, I liked the visuals in terms of lots of slo-mo and unique angles, but then again, a lot of it seemed to be people just being placed in picturesque positions and places, to fill out the lack of story. Supremely disappointing.

Rating: 1/5.

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