602. Moonraker

602-moonrakerBackground info

Title: Moonraker
Director: Lewis Gilbert
Year: 1979
Run time: 2hrs 6m

“James Bond must thwart Sir Hugo Drax, who plans to wipe out all of humankind and replace it with a super race that he has cultivated in a massive space station. The girl in the case is American secret agent Holly Goodhead, and Jaws, the steel-mouthed henchman, makes a return appearance in Moonraker, turning good guy (complete with a girlfriend of his own) in the process.”

Live blog

0:59 – What a great opening shot – plane with a shuttle on its back.
3:53 – Not Jaws again! Eek!
9:14 – Fab excuse. “I fell out of an aeroplane without a parachute.”
10:50 – The real question is why they were loaning us a shuttle. What could we possibly do with it?
18:19 – There’s a woman who gets fed up of people being surprised she’s a doctor.
21:43 – The G Force machines are properly dizzifying!
28:10 – Love his little 007 spy camera. Want one of those.
36:11 – Hiding behind a glass bowl is not really good spying.
40:02 – How did I not know that the waterways have traffic lights in Venice?
41:19 – Was that the same guy, looking at his wine bottle in disbelief? Love it!
47:38 – That priceless glass vase was in a room that wasn’t locked, and no one has reacted to the alarm. Hmm.
56:06 – CONCORDE!
1:04:13 – I like someone actually making use of those tourist telescopes.
1:05:56 – Jaws just looked at the cable car and it stops!
1:10:41 – What the… Jaws has a heart?
1:17:04 – A boat chase? Shock horror.
1:24:21 – “You defy all my attempts to plot an amusing death for you.”
1:36:05 – Don’t get me wrong, I love the space station. But it seems odd he could build that and NO ONE noticed. Stealth or otherwise.
1:50:14 – Oh, I must have switched over to Star Wars.
1:52:38 – For a film that likes speeding up footage, slow mo anti-gravity wars are slowwww.
2:04:28 – Q!!! So rude.

Conclusions

I had such high hopes for this one, coming off the back of the fabulous Spy Who Loved Me and having plenty of space action. Sadly, it was easily the worst of the bunch so far. Clearly rushed and thrown together in a hurry (to capitalise on the success of Star Wars), it was disjointed and in many places laughable.

Holly was great, I loved that her character sparred with James on an equal level, and she was superbly calm during all the space nonsense. Sadly, Jaws was reduced to being the comic relief – pulling ridiculous faces and scampering about with a girlfriend out of nowhere. He was so eery and scary in the last film, it was a shame to see what happened to him in this.

Up to the point where they jetted off into space, it felt like a normal Bond film, scattered with great action scenes and inventive scenarios. They did bring back the double speed tactic to try and build tension, though, which was annoying as I thought it had gone for good.

Once they went into space, it just turned into a poorly done Star Wars – not that bad in terms of effects, but since when does James Bond do laser battles like that? Not a fan, I’m afraid.

Rating: 1/5.

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