Title: Get Hard
Director: Etan Cohen
Run time: 1hr 40m
“When millionaire hedge fund manager James King is nailed for fraud and bound for a stretch in San Quentin, the judge gives him 30 days to get his affairs in order. Desperate, he turn to Darnell Lewis to prep him for a life behind bars. But despite James’ one-percenter assumptions, Darnell is a hard-working small business owner who has never received a parking ticket, let alone been to prison. Together, the two men do whatever it takes for James to ‘get hard’ and, in the process, discover how wrong they were about a lot of things – including each other.”
1:00 – Will Ferrell cannot be that funny that just hearing his crying is hilarious.
3:06 – “Aren’t you supposed to be a predatory lender? Then prey on me!”
10:03 – Island neighbours. As if buying an island isn’t a way to get away from everyone.
12:32 – Aww, Kevin Hart is so tiny.
14:17 – “Success is a mindset.”
17:53 – Can’t believe that Ally McBeal guy is being a lawyer in this. Fun!
19:58 – Ha, no one would think of Mexico.
24:48 – Shaking hands is such a minefield these days.
26:53 – Actual Jimmy Fallon!
29:36 – “Prison school’s in session, b***h.”
31:39 – Mad dog face is terrifying.
45:24 – “My name is Chris… short for Christmas came early this year.”
53:26 – Not a fan of the strobe scenes.
53:59 – The months of the year: “1, 2, 4, summer, Christmas, baked potato. Did I miss one out?”
1:14:57 – That Martin thing was so obvious and still so hilarious.
1:15:23 – Dumbest genius ever.
1:27:57 – Ooh, this is a proper visual representation of rage!
1:30:39 – “I had no choice, it was either you or me.” “That sounds like a choice!”
Now that I’ve finished the mammoth task of getting to 500 films, reaching each century doesn’t feel quite as exciting as it did. That said, I am a bit disappointed that this is the one that ended up as number 600. As a concept, the film seems okay – a rich guy going to prison for fraud isn’t convinced he’ll survive in there so gets help – and with Will Ferrell and tiny Kevin Hart on board, it should have been better than it was.
The problem I had, mostly, is that 90% of the jokes were based on rape or racism, neither of which are really that funny. There were a couple of good moments, the occasional quotable line, but for the most part, this one missed the spot. It also felt like it took too long for them to actually start investigating what was happening, particularly when it was so obvious to – and spelled out for – the viewer.
And one personal thing that bugged me – Darnell said James so many times I wanted to mute it. Like in Titanic, where Kate Winslet is incapable of saying anything other than Jack. It must be something to do with names beginning with J!