443. Edward Scissorhands

Background info

443-edward-scissorhandsTitle: Edward Scissorhands
Director: Tim Burton
Year: 1990
Run time: 1hr 45m

“Once upon a time in a castle high on a hill lived an inventor whose greatest creation was named Edward. Although Edward had an irresistible charm, he wasn’t quite perfect. The inventor’s sudden death left him unfinished, with sharp shears of metal for hands. Edward lived alone in the darkness until one day a kind Avon lady took him home to live with her family. And so began Edward’s fantastical adventures in a pastel paradise known as Suburbia.”

Live blog

2:32 – Lengthy opening credits. Nicely arty though.
5:07 – Seems like a weird place to have a mountain.
8:40 – Having no luck selling Avon products to the desperate housewives, so try the Addams family instead!
14:30 – “I’m not finished.” *bursts into tears*
17:23 – Every film we watch from the 70s makes me hope and pray that doesn’t come back into fashion.
26:40 – Don’t like waterbeds. So wibbly.
35:42 – That’s a pretty inefficient use of dough.
42:04 – Poor Edward. Must be kinda scary to come home to scissors in bed though!
47:06 – “You can’t buy the necessities of life with cookies.”
58:30 – Argh, he’s so innocent and sweet. It’s painful.
1:01:35 – Banks are scary enough, let alone if you don’t really understand what it’s all about.
1:07:30 – “Damn those TV programmes.”
1:14:57 – Scissors paper stone!
1:23:31 – Of all the hedges, the big bear hedge is my favourite.
1:36:59 – I hope Joyce feels really bad.

Conclusions

Edward Scissorhands has the honour of being one of the films that I know I cried at when I was younger – before I made the tear-related breakthrough this year. I was nervous about watching it again, because just viewing the trailer made me feel a bit weird, but after exams and stress and everything was out the way, it was something of a treat to sit down and revel in the nostalgia.

Actually, the film didn’t make me cry while we were watching, although I did get sniffly afterwards. I just can’t cope with how horrible they are to him. Jim, constantly being aggressive and Joyce with all the lying. It chokes me up.

It’s a great film, fun in the right places, and emotional too. Johnny Depp is brilliant, as he most often is, with vulnerability sewn right into a character that is otherwise a deadly weapon. The only problem is the big flaw in the premise. It’s fine to suspend belief that the inventor can build a functioning human being but: why would he put scissors on in lieu of hands? Why not just leave the hands off until they were ready? Or as Mr C pointed out, why not build the hands first as they can help you build the rest?

It would make sense if Edward was left alone without hands and had to fashion some scissor-related tools instead, but he’s seen with the inventor very much alive and those scissors for hands already in place. What is that all about?

Otherwise, great stuff and it still has a special place in my heart.

Rating: 4/5

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