421. Getaway

Background info

421-getawayTitle: Getaway
Director: Courtney Solomon
Year: 2013
Run time: 1hr 30m

“Getaway is the gritty, heart-pounding action thriller starring Academy Award nominee Ethan Hawke, and actress and international music sensation Selena Gomez. Former race car driver Brent Magna (Hawke) is pitted against the clock. Desperately trying to save the life of his kidnapped wife, Brent commandeers a custom Ford Shelby GT500 Super Snake, taking it and its unwitting owner (Gomez) on a high-speed race against time, at the command of the mysterious villain holding his wife hostage.”

Live blog

2:36 – I just don’t get how anyone can drive through a car park that fast, I’d crash into every pillar.
4:43 – Ack, the poor local police again.
9:47 – Ridiculous premise, but let’s go with it for now.
16:02 – Selena isn’t so convincing as a car thief, it’s gotta be sad.
19:22 – “Two days ago, I guess.” How can you not know the last time you saw your car?
25:45 – Blimey, bollards can fly pretty high!
30:41 – A film about fast cars and piggybacking on servers. Pretty good geek fodder!
33:58 – “The only thing I was good at was wrecking expensive cars.” That’s racing!
42:17 – At this point, the ringtone is the most annoying sound in the world!
47:54 – I like this Selena, she’s all smart and stuff. With nice nails.
49:42 – “I should have been a banker,” is not up there with the best catchphrases.
51:18 – She blatantly stole that from Speed.
55:41 – The old car door trick. Gets them every time.
58:03 – I’m worried they’re going to run out of petrol soon.
1:01:10 – She’s right, she has kinda come up with every good plan so far. Well, stolen from Speed, anyway.
1:03:58 – Blimey, one shot from a gun caused all that chaos?
1:10:57 – Selena is so awesome.
1:16:49 – I don’t want them to but I’m not understanding why they haven’t just killed her instead of driving her around the city.
1:19:48 – Yea, that’ll buff right out.

Conclusions

The trailer for this looked intriguing, if not a big blockbuster, and I love Selena Gomez so I wanted to see what she was up to. Ethan Hawke, however, is not my favourite, mostly because Mr C said Training Day was excellent and I disagreed.

As it turns out, this was a terrible film. The premise didn’t make any sense, the story was full of holes and really just there as a tenuous thread to string far too many car chase scenes together. At one point, I didn’t know which car had the good guys and which had the bad guys, and at that point, it all became meaningless.

I saw that Selena was nominated for one of those Raspberry Awards for Worst Actress. I’m not sure that’s entirely fair, everyone appeared to be doing the best they could with a really shockingly bad script. The only thing Selena did wrong was accepting a role that was 99% screaming, hiding her head, and saying “slow doooown.”

It wasn’t so bad as to be boring, but I wouldn’t recommend it in a million years.

Rating: 1/5

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