Film Watch – 279. Ted

tedFast Facts

Title: Ted
Director: Seth MacFarlane
Year: 2012
Run time: 1hr 46m

Background Info

So… I love bears, and I like the teddy versions as well, but I’m not so comfortable with too much crudeness. The trailer for this confused me greatly, I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to watch it or not! I knew there would be epic cuteness, but also… this is a bear that does drugs and swears and god knows what else. In the end, cuteness won out.

Live Blog

0:35 – I do so love the new Universal logo.
2:39 – That is a wicked cute bear. The squeezy voice isn’t right though!
6:08 – Just like the baby Jesus. Not for long, I think!
8:57 – Mark Wahlberg doing the eighties is just a bit too close to reality!
11:25 – Special bear pedals!
12:21 – “That’s my bad, I was sending a tweet.”
16:27 – I want a bear that watches Flash Gordon and also discusses the economy.
20:32 – There should never be any ultimatums between peoples and bears.
26:57 – Mr C loves a good film in film reference, and there have already been far too many!
30:02 – Bear in a suit!
33:47 – Bear carrying a box! I don’t think I can take much more of this.
40:03 – “Ikea kitted the whole place out for $47.”
48:31 – The Boston accent is something else.
52:11 – No one said I would have to watch Flash Gordon as prep for this.
55:02 – Bear doing karaoke!
1:00:03 – “I was going to stop in for five minutes and then Flash Gordon…”
1:05:55 – Bear rage!
1:06:43 – It’s a bear, how hard can his punches be?
1:09:21 – Actual Norah Jones!
1:17:59 – We appear to have ourselves a case of bearnapping.
1:25:04 – I must admit I did not expect there to be a car chase in this.
1:31:19 – “She’s your thunder buddy now.”
1:33:16 – Even in his regular bear state, he’s the cutest thing ever.
1:39:45 – I like the character wrap up to the stylings of Queen in the background.


What I hadn’t anticipated, in amongst all my ponderings about what the film would be like, is that it’s freakishly funny. Sure there’s a lot of stuff that I am too prudish to get, and there are references that go over my head, but even with all that, there’s still enough funny to the point I couldn’t breath. The bear is as cute as expected, you might have got that from the above. I didn’t really like the sad bit, for obvious reasons, but it all works out okay in the end. Loved it.

Rating: 5/5


  1. Lukeh

    I’m impressed how good of a rating this got, friends think I’d like it but everything I’ve seen about it looks absolutely shocking. Plus Seth Mcfarlane reeeeeallly gets on my nerves.


  2. I wouldn’t want to recommend this either way, because where they say comedy is subjective, this is the pinnacle of that.

    I don’t know Seth MacFarlane at all, never watched any of his stuff. I was proud I got a Peter Griffen reference, but I only knew it because they played that Bird is the Word song endlessly on Scott Mills.


  3. Mr C

    lukeh, you have to watch it for the patrick stewart narration at the beginning.

    seriously, rent the movie, watch just that and switch it off once he’s done. it’ll still be value for money.


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