Title: Rock of Ages
Director: Adam Shankman
Run time: 2hrs 3m
I had mostly forgotten about this musical – I think I wrote it off as cashing in on We Will Rock You’s fame, and never gave it a second thought. I was curious about the film, because I like anything that brings musicals more attention, but the idea of Tom Cruise strutting around as an aging rock star was a little off-putting.
0:38 – I get they are being rock and roll, but I cannot read that text!
1:42 – Even in modern musicals, you can see a song coming a mile off.
3:49 – She sounds like Britney.
9:21 – That’s Alec Baldwin. In a role that is suspiciously like Pop.
9:38 – We are trying to figure out whether Brand’s accent is meant to be Brummie or Liverpool.
12:50 – I really thought he was going to introduce her as Catherine Zeta-Jones, hearing her character name was a surprise.
15:55 – Things you never thought you’d see, Brand and Baldwin chest bumping.
18:40 – Someone wants to stop the music? This is all so very familiar!
19:45 – It’s officially the worst accent ever, comes and goes, but we think Liverpool.
26:45 – Oh, backcombing. Painful.
31:51 – You can’t do this one, Glee co-opted it already.
40:29 – You shouldn’t meet your heroes, I guess!
45:00 – He tells time like Mr C does.
48:00 – There is far too much of Tom Cruise’s chest in this.
52:45 – “Another rocker, asleep at the wheel, singing the same songs you did ten years ago.” That’s what the people want!
1:00:05 – The accent changes by the word.
1:01:28 – I don’t know if you can get the Rage in a musical?
1:13:24 – Mary J with Williams sisters hair!
1:23:32 – This is a bit more than a chest bump. Things you really never thought you’d see!
1:25:42 – “Rock is dead but the pop thing is hot.” Wooo, can’t wait for the sequel then!
1:29:40 – I like decision-making based on the flip of a coin.
1:32:44 – “I wish that the true part were falser.”
1:37:07 – A stripper and a boyband are not on the same level!
1:41:41 – It’s the cutest! I’d marry him on the spot.
1:54:09 – The Glee song ruins it. Otherwise I am totally on board.
It’s good! Well, no, that’s not true. It was terrible, dreadful, corny, silly, but totally brilliant at the same time. I really think Russell Brand’s accent was unfortunate, and it got to the point where every time he opened his mouth, we cringed. Post-film research proved it was meant to be Birmingham, like Ozzie Osbourne.
It’s hard to know what else to say. The singing was quite processed, but not overly-done Glee style. There were some surprises, some laughs, but it was quite predictable as musicals are. Overall, we really enjoyed it, for all it’s glorious rubbish-ness.