Title: The Guard
Director: John Michael McDonagh
Run time: 1hr 36
Things that attracted me to this movie: It’s set in Ireland, it looks kinda fun, it’s short.
1:51 – Ireland is so pretty.
3:16 – This film is made in association with a lot of people and I’ve not heard of any of them except the UK Film Council.
5:47 – “The significance of the pot plant has me somewhat perplexed.”
14:34 – It looks very cold though, it’s nice he has a big warm police coat.
17:32 – What kind of rubbish slide system is it that he has to say next each time!?
23:30 – Applying for the post of International Drug Trafficker. I wonder what that job interview is like.
25:26 – Some call him rude, others would say honest. Actually, probably only he would call it honest.
27:37 – Ooh, that is a nice dressing gown.
29:26 – His front door slides, rather than opens.
33:28 – “Why do you keep repeating everything I say?”
40:04 – Didn’t take him long being in Ireland to start hitting the Guinness.
41:47 – It’s like RoboCop. He got “whacked” on his first day too.
42:45 – He’s hard enough to understand sober, I do not enjoy this drunkenness!
46:12 – “Big map, people pointing, it must be important.”
51:23 – Why is the FBI’s Behavioural Science unit so famous?
56:59 – Milkshake headache!!
1:02:08 – They keep putting the bad guys in beautiful and peaceful locations.
1:06:23 – Is it sugar cubes that he keeps eating? That’s quite gross.
1:12:52 – Running with the bulls is definitely not on my bucket list.
1:16:03 – That kid is always around!
1:17:03 – New interesting job interview: henchman.
1:23:43 – He really is a good shot.
1:28:20 – I am enjoying all these Irish names in the credits.
I quite liked it, which comes as a surprise to me because in the first few minutes I wondered what I’d let myself in for. There’s plenty of stuff that goes against the grain, and all the characters drop the F-word ever three seconds, and that’s only once you get in the zone and start understanding what they’re saying. But, it was laugh out loud funny in places, had a great cast of characters and a good ending. Plus, it made me want to go to Ireland again.
My gut instinct tells me this film is a 3 out of 5, but the scene with the milkshake is worth a whole point in itself.