Title: The English Patient
Director: Anthony Minghella
Run time: 2hrs 42m
“Winner of 9 Academy Awards(R) in 1996, including Best Picture, Best Director (Anthony Minghella) and Best Supporting Actress (Juliette Binoche), this powerful motion picture is an experience you will never forget. During World War II, a mysterious stranger (Ralph Fiennes) is cared for by American allies unaware of his dangerous past. Yet, as the mystery of his identity is revealed, an incredible tale of passion, intrigue, and adventure unfolds. Also starring Kristin Scott Thomas, Colin Firth, and Willem Dafoe.”
0:22 – Two hours and forty minutes… it really is a long one.
1:08 – Naveen Andrews from LOST??
8:19 – It’s a miracle someone could survive injuries like that and a journey on a camel.
9:08 – Italy – October 1944 (I always forget the writing after about a minute.)
12:58 – I wonder when the first metal detector was invented.
13:43 – That actually is Kevin Whately! I thought I’d read it wrong.
17:47 – It seems like an unusual premise for a film. Why would she be allowed to stay behind?
20:05 – I so don’t need to see close ups of people eating.
22:05 – The bi-planes are pretty much the scariest planes ever.
35:05 – See, Katharine is posh but I can’t believe anyone actually talks like him.
38:47 – I find him to be slightly scary.
44:56 – It would give you some kind of RSI to play a wonky piano like that, even for just two minutes.
50:53 – I feel like this film is full of meaning I am missing.
57:26 – I wonder if it’s possible to sit through a three hour film when you can’t stand the main character.
1:10:01 – Condensed milk is evil.
1:12:49 – I don’t care how tired you are, the first thing you would do on a return from the desert is to shower. None of this: “You still have sand in your hair,” business.
1:16:53 – Juliette Binoche reminds me of someone but I can’t think who.
1:44:32 – Do you think this is where Ugly Betty got their cheap laughs from? The leading lady walks into a low beam?
1:47:16 – Bah, I’m going to have to watch this in two parts because there is still an hour to go and I am losing the will to live.
1:47:17 – Here we go again.
1:48:10 – He’s still being horrible then. Nothing changed while I wasn’t looking.
1:49:10 – How many days have they been in the monastery now? I’m pretty sure I was asking similar questions for the last film as well.
1:50:46 – See, Syed from LOST is a nice man. I actually care about their relationship.
1:52:29 – I’m pretty sure if I went flying about on a rope with a flare, I would set the whole building on fire.
1:56:08 – Where did she get that bike from? Oh wait, is it the no-thumbs guy’s?
2:06:19 – Madox is slightly dishy. Except for the shorts.
2:15:24 – It seems like an awful lot of walking… three days in the desert. I hope he has a compass.
2:21:27 – So he jumps off the train. Isn’t he just going to have to walk through the desert all over again?
2:34:06 – She kinda is cursed, isn’t she?
I hadn’t seen this film before and all I knew about it is that it’s a long one, and I’ve heard people describe it as boring. Uh oh. Also, I wasn’t sure if I should be worried that the iTunes rental download has no description whatsoever?
I know I am a product of a generation with short attention spans, but I do feel like this story could have been captured much better in a shorter time. The cinematography was good, but I don’t think it was spectacular enough to justify a three hour film. That said, this is a multi-award winning film, so I guess I am probably in the minority.